bar fights

Do any of you remember the last time you got socked in the face for no reason?

I do. I remember it like it was an hour ago. (aside: it was an hour ago) And needless to say, it pissed me off. I didn't hit back. Why? I have no fucking idea. It didn't even cross my mind. It was more so just a mix of utter bewilderment and frustration. When you're faced with options, all of which can ruin a lot of things in the process, it's sometimes best left untouched.

My nose may be broken. I bled like my throat got sliced from ear to ear. And all I can think of is what I should've done. In all honesty, I think I would have been better off laying the guy out, but how far would that have gotten me? I look like a fucking white knight now, and girls love that shit.

I don't know. I'm so confused. And still a little wasted. But what can ya do.

icy eyes

Christmas is over. All I have to say about that is thank fucking god. If I got one more sweater, I would probably have offed myself right there, right then. But I guess I'm grateful for all the sweaters. What if I get stuck on a cannibalistic island where it's -15 degrees and if you wear anything but argyle sweaters, they eat you? Then I'd be the only one to survive. Cool.

I've been listening to a shit-ton of these records. And it's always nice to hear new music that excites you. It's like when you first talk to a girl you REALLY like in high school. You stomach flutters at the mere thought of it. I mean, it's not like you're gonna throw up. Well, maybe; like if the new music you're discovering is the Casualties.

Every day when I wake up, I feel like I laid dead all night, and got an ethereal whisper at sometime that made me come to life again. My whole body hurts, my head feels like it weighs about 40 pounds, my eyes won't adjust to anything. It's the fuckin worst. What am I supposed to do with a body that only works half the day?

New years, my new band plays its first show. And I'm fucking pumped. The songs I wrote are badass, and the songs we're covering are even more so. I hope that we can be as good for this show as I know we can be. It'll be a nice send off for our drummer (NAVY queer), so regardless, I'm pretty excited.

Eh.

K'in Bowls n shit

Mikey is a retard. He always tries to smoke me out, and I have to kindly decline, explaining to him repeatedly that I don't smoke that kind of herb. He should remember this, but he can't because all the grass destroys the memory receptors in his tiny mexican brain.

I'm all for chillin and shit. Who isn't? But who needs some sticky icky for that? Maybe you're just boring and need some over-stimulation for those totally wack ideas you formulate at night by yourself after you beat off looking at internet porn while sipping wine and/or banging your neon yellow pocket pussy.

But who am I to judge? I am but a man. With a functioning brain and who doesn't listen to ska. Ska is gay too. But that's neither here nor there.(see what i did there? made you my bitch!)

But let's get honest here (Burchfield quote!), you're a douchenozzle. You don't eat meat, you smoke girl cigarettes, and you try to save the environment. I bet you read too, you pussy.

Just go back to Europe, or where ever it is they breed you little girly men. Because America doesn't want you. Oh yeah, and that voting you love so much? Yeah. Your vote doesn't count.

Write back soon.

Alex

raising glasses to these faintly falling ashes

So now it's christmas. That spells a few things out to me. Mainly the fact that I'll have so much sweet shit to play with for the next dozen years of my life. And then the fact that I better be getting fucking rowdy all day long. Christmas just isn't Christmas without alcohol and bad ideas.

I wish I could see everyone today, but that just doesn't happen these days. It seems we've all kinda outgrown all these "friendships". But who's counting, right?

I can't wait to bust out my new record player and all the tunes I've collected for it the past few months. I can't wait to bust open every single LP and throw it on the turn table like my life depends on it. There's something about vinyl that's just magical. I could hear the same song a million times, but it's just better coming from a diamond needle tip.

This has already been a badass holiday season. I got a brand new guitar that, believe it or not, is the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. And I got myself a tattoo which means a lot to me, for half price. Life may be on an upturn here. At least for the next two days.

And, of course, I know it's already christmas, but I can't help but feel in order for it to be complete, I need a few things to happen.

A.) Hookers
B.) A lunar eclipse
C.) drinking a shit ton with my friends

Really, only C. Come one, come all. Let's get hammered and celebrate the birth of the world's most famous conman.

<3 eternally
Alex

the common cold

This shit kinda sucks. I'm sitting here, running on an amazing 2 and a half hours of sleep, school, family eating festivities and christmas shopping. Sometimes, I think about cursing god. But, jokes on you...

god isn't real.

I had to drop off a paper yesterday about the government. Not the cool part about the government where people get whacked, bulldozers plow through things in the middle of the night and dudes get beejs in the middle of, ya know, the most powerful office in the fucking world. No. This was the politics of pussies. Amendments, gerrymandering and ball-massaging. But, it was kind of important for several reasons. For one, it reinforced how I feel about the government trampling on what most people who have ever lived consider civil liberties. 2.) How no matter what we do for this country, this country very rarely reciprocates. It's the equivalent of taking a girl (ya know, or guy) out to a movie, buying them dinner, sucking on her toes and granting her the favor of killing her entire extended family (leaving the horse head in their beds first is optional), and then all you get is a goodnight kiss. I know what you're thinking. No, no ball cupping either.

Granted, one would not be pleased with such an outcome. And I can't blame them.
This is how I feel about America.

Now, a lot of people like to joke about loving America as if it's the latest Dane Cook joke they heard and it's so funny because he runs around and yells and he's kinda cute and shit. But I don't really think it's funny. We're all very fortunate to have been born in a country that has an extensive freedom that is unavailable in a lot of places. I can honestly say I love America, and most of what it stands for. But there comes a time when people need their country to listen to what they want. I may be a little late on this, but, ya know, shit happens.

That's why I'm so proud of what happened this past November. Electing a man like Obama is the closest thing to a revolution we could have without military intervention.

I lost my motivation to write this. Blogging is boring when nothing ever happens. It's antithetical to sit here and talk about things I don't even really know if I care about.

but hey. that's life.

EDIT: ok, a few days later, I'm revisiting. I'm proud Obama got elected for one main reason: He isn't a fucking tool. He has an integrity seldom seen these days. I don't care that he's black, and I'm not some wagon-jumping moron. I'm just glad that after 2 stolen terms, a legit guy finally won. I supported him before the primaries, when I first heard he was running. Yeah, he's from Illinois, but so are you and so am I. Last I checked, we're not the most corrupt of individuals.

But either way, America is not something to take for granted. It has been a breeding ground for some of the best thinkers, doers and inbetweens of anywhere in the world. While Japan is inventing electronics, the good old US of A is inventing ways to destroy other nations. And that's dedication. A dedication that, as a natural citizen, I can appreciate. Fuck the world, I live in America.

Straight up.

whatever you want it to be.

I had a crazy idea just now.

Everything in life seems so dictated. You can make your own decisions, as long as they're in the realm of what's "best for you," of course deemed so by authoritative figures surrounding you at all hours. Shit, even down to watching TV, you can only pick and choose from so many options. No matter how many channels they throw at you, they're all the same, and will all leave you completely unsatisfied. I guess that's a fucked up metaphor for what I'm trying to say. The fact of the matter is free thought in this society is looked down upon. Things from stem cell research, to abortion, alternative fuels and raising your kids without the fear of CHRIST are all considered immoral and dangerous to our culture. Even though, in many cases, they can save lives or our complete and finite existence.

So, why not, for a few nights out of every month, just say fuck everything, pack your bags and head west? One of my best friends I've ever had just shipped off to the military. No one is gonna wait around for you. Some day you'll be on your own, stuck in a miserable routine of a paycheck to paycheck, rent to rent, fuck to fuck world. While we're young, why not make our lives mean something? Write some poetry, stare a hole in the stars, what the fuck ever. I just hope that this generation can outgrow the prior by miles and miles.

So, one of these days, I'm gonna hop a train to the west coast and see where it takes me. Anyone who'd wanna come is more than welcome. We can sleep on the beach all night if we dont got a ride.

Frustration

People that aren't funny aren't and will not be directly funny.

People who are not creative will not be directly creative.

People that can't jump over a foot don't try to be professional high jumpers.

It only makes sense.

And when you're one of those people trying to do one of those things, you're a shell of empty ideology.

Do your own thing. Be your own person. Live your own life.

Ambition (without the motivation)

Dear all 36 people who have looked at my blog,

How's it goin? Obviously not too grand if you're reading some asshole in a Chicago suburb's blog. But hey, who says you can't win 'em all? Not this guy.

Which brings me to my next point:

We all die.

Anyway, life is life. As a great man once said, fuck the world. I'm sick of working my ass off to get ahead. I've had almost a dozen jobs in the past three years, and I can't say any of them did one thing for me. I learned nothing, I accomplished nothing, and most of all, they mainly kept me from doing all the things I love. Am I a broken record here? Do I aways bitch about the same things? It feels like it. But then again, I'm only human. We all make mistakes. Some more than others, but no one is immune.

Like when you go to Cancun to drinks beerz and get laidz, and you meet a super, totally smokin' babe. And you hit it. But there's a catch: it has to be from the backdoor. And you want to ask why, but who knows the next time you'd get to hide the sausage in a fine broad, right? And then you find out why inadvertently: She has a dong.
Scratch that she, because it's just a really pretty dude in a push up bra.

You see what I'm saying? You should've seen it coming from the start, but life is cruel. And now you're at least 1/5 gay.

So in an attempt to get my life on a certain incessant track, I've decided to compile my career goals in this compact post hoping I can decide what to do when I "GROW UP" before I sign my life away to a college that won't even make me happy. SO, here goes.

-radio personality
-journalist
-rock star
-record producer/ engineer
-TV sports caster
-philosopher ( I still don't see how you can get paid for that.)
-English teacher/ professional critic
-inventor
-stay at home dad
-bar owner (the bar would, of course, be made to resemble a medieval dungeon, complete with sexy slave girls for waitresses/ bartenders and a big dude in an executioner's mask for a bouncer. Think Medieval Times but sexier, and more drunk)
-televangelist
-motivational speaker
-novelist
-Political speech writer
-US Senator
-Wine maker in the South of France
-some kind of advertising job
-police detective
-History teacher
-professional Boss tribute band
-internet millionaire

As you can see, I have no idea what I'm gonna do when I have to "realize my potential as an adult." Most of those are serious too (sad as it may be. I have a restless mind). But overall, the future scares the shit out of me.

I was thinking the other day about being a grown up. About accepting responsibility for everything I do. I've come to terms with all the ways I fucked up when I was younger, and I'd like to think I made all of my mistakes early in life, in turn leaving the rest of my life trauma-free. But I don't think it works that way. For every lesson I've learned, there's a hundred more I haven't. There's still so many things I want to do. Like, sky diving. And watching a hobo fight live. But I've got a long life ahead of me, full of boring shit. Who knows if I'll ever base jump off the Sears Tower. All I know is I want to be happy, whatever it takes.

And I was thinking about society's views on love. I, personally, have never been "in love". From what I've seen, it's better that way. It just seems like when people are in love, they're always mad. They're always pissed off because someone did or didn't do this or that. It doesn't make any sense. Women and men are the same. Give or take a few chromosomes. They both are full of shit, and that will never change. I mean, god damn, what kind of guy wouldn't kill for a broad with some TnA and doesn't talk very much? It just doesn't happen. Maybe one day I'll find a girl who loves punk rock and doesn't talk back, but until that day, I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm happier without chains than anyone could ever be with them.

Not to bad mouth your puppy love, I'm sure it's all well and fine. But, ya know, a bitch is a bitch. Ask Easy E.

Well, it's about that time folks. My bed is calling, and school won't fail itself.

One last word of advice: Don't trust the cute girl in Cancun with an adam's apple and a dong next time.

Jawbreaker and bad ideas

School is killing me a little bit inside. Don't get me wrong, it's easy as shit, but it's just like an ethereal vacuum. My soul is being sucked out slowly, with me soon being left for dead in a swirl of ugly broads, shitty art and literature magazines and a lack of a desire to live.

I hate walking through the halls with my head down because I don't want to be there, see anyone or really leave my house at all that particular day. I just want to sleep, play NFL Blitz and smoke. And go to Pizza Hut.

But no. I can't. I quit my job like an asshole, and now have to fully commit to something else I hate to take place of the void it left me in.

I can't wait to get a nice degree to hang on my wall. that's gonna make me such a success I may just rent my own apartment!

Why is Jawbreaker so depressing? Why is Blake Swarzenbach such a dick? Perhaps we'll never know. But what I do know is, you can't argue with Chesterfield kings.

It's snowed like 3 inches now. What the fuck is that? I can't go smoke without freezing. There is no god.

Oh shit! it's the first day of December. That means a few things to me:

A.) I have to pay my credit card bill within two days.
B.) I have to use said credit card to buy shit for a bunch of dicks.
C.) It's cold and defeating.
D.) Brian Setzer Orchestra Christmas!
E.) I'm almost done with school.
F.) I can start drinking coffee again, preferably having it extremely strong and disgusting.
G.) I can sleep for 12 hours again.

Fuckin' right.

Sweaters and stuffing

I guess I should elaborate on my previous post. Look, Thanksgiving is just fine. You get all dressed up, shave for the first time in months and eat more than any civilized person should be allowed legally. But, as I'm sitting here waiting for my family to get here, it makes me wonder why the hell we celebrate such a bland, useless holiday.

(PS- I'd pick Easter. that way I could die on the day Jesus came back to life, and hopefully avoid the judgment day all of you assholes have to deal with)

We killed the American Indians. Sweet! Let's eat turkey. And pumpkin pie. In memoriam of landing on a big chunk of land which we swiftly cast God's fury down upon. Nice, America. Nice.

If I may, I'd like to quote a passage of which I once read, when the moon shined a brighter glow.

" The Native American is surprisingly absent in his own indigenous land
Do you want to know why? It's 'cause we killed them all
It's not that hard to understand, yeah
So I go to college and you know what I learned?
That 80 million people were killed by my grandpa,
Your grandpa and all of their friends"(Kelly 1998)

Thank you, Broadways, for that enlightening paragraph.

But seriously. This is dumb. My family sucks. They're boring, tedious and most of all, lack any sense of humor.

If they carve up the turkey, I'll say something like "holy shit. the leg just moved!", and they'll jerk the carver around and cut their finger off. No big deal. But not to them. I guess if you're the cause of someone losing a finger, your family hates you. But hey, I'm sticking to my guns; that leg totally moved.

In closing, I hope every one who stumbles across this has a beautiful holiday, full of losing appendages, eating gross shit and contemplating suicide. Remember, you get out what you put in. So I'm gonna take a long fucking nap and hope all these douchebags return to their douchebag abodes with their douchebag kids.

genocide and celebration

If you had to pick a holiday to die on, which would it be?

Probably not thanksgiving. Why? Because no one should be thankful for their death.

Unless you're Robert Smith. Or a Russian author.