Dear Non-smokers of America,

Listen. I smoke. I don't care if you do or don't. I know lots of people who do regularly, and just as many who would never touch one. But I have a problem with some of you self-righteous non-smoking assholes. I am an American. I was born here. My mother and father were born here. I have certain unalienable rights which the founding fathers instilled in me over 200 years before I was even alive. I understand smoking is not a right guaranteed by the Constitution, but I do have the right to freedom, liberty and personal happiness. And I feel this is being intruded upon by cock-smoking pieces of shit who can't stand walking by people smoking a 1/16th of a mile from a door.

Don't tread on me, mother fuckers.

I am no less of a person than you because one of my habits happens to kill people. People die. If they die of lung cancer, then it's a sad story. But no more sad than being killed in a car crash, heart failure or murdered brutally. When you tell me to walk away from the door, I nod and peacefully go about my way. Then you ask me to walk 15 feet from an entrance. I may snarl or object, but once again, I go on my way. Suddenly, us smokers are pushed back hundreds of feet from any other people. We obliged, whether or not we felt it necessary. But when I follow all your bullshit stipulations just so I can calm down between feminist rants, teachers preaching the pros of LSD and other shit I disagree with or just don't care about in class, you still insist that isn't good enough. How long will it be before smoking is banned outdoors completely? Before we as a nation are completely controlled by government "looking out for us" as if they know what's best for everyone?

Of course, this isn't the first time a government has taken a large step to stomp out smoking. In the 1930's and 40's, a brilliant man attempted to ban smoking from his nation. That man was named Adolf Hitler. Congrats non-smokers, you're in good company. Some piss poor decision makers who smoked? Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin. Wow. 1. Hitler believed smoking would have killed out his perfect race known as the Third Reich. If only we could have been so lucky. Also, tobacco was a devilish gift from the Red Man (American Indians) as revenge for giving them whiskey. God damn.

Furthermore, here's a comparison of the anti-smoking campaigns by Nazi Germany, and the current campaigns by America.
-- Hitler attempted to price out smoking for Germans, levying huge taxes on cigarettes.
- The Nazis banned tobacco advertising and financed huge public relations campaigns to propagandize people into giving up smoking.
For more, go here.

This all came about after a year of dealing with this. Being herded like sheep into bus shelters because the covered canopies are reserved for smoke-free citizens (who aren't even outside unless going to or from class). I've been warned with $250 tickets, referrals from the Dean of the college and more. I've been told by people who I've never met I'm disgusting and a bad person. I've been yelled at by over-zealous cunts who couldn't even walk the distance we have to just to smoke without stopping for a breather.

But in all honesty, why is this such a big deal? It smells? It will kill you? I'm sorry to say that walking through a cloud of smoke outside for half a second will not give you cancer, no matter how many times in your life you do it. According to studies, 50% of people who don't smoke don't even mind second-hand smoke. Some people actually enjoy it (why I can't say). Am I the only one who feels almost oppressed by this? I feel shunned, out-casted and down-trodden. I refuse to be governed by this overly liberal bullshit. I want to be the first man to go to jail for disobeying smoking laws. I'll gladly martyr myself for the 76,000,000 smokers in America. If women can have abortions, then I can fucking smoke where ever I please. The government can force its smoking bans on businesses who disagree with it, with hundreds of patrons who disagree with it. Am I the only one who finds this whole idea fucked?

But the next time you see someone smoking, and it irritates you, suck a dick. I don't give a fuck what you think or feel about what over 20 percent of the population does for relaxation and leisure. This is America, you mother fucker. Land of the free. Home of the smokers who have to walk a thousand feet at Joliet Junior College to smoke.

Get real, America. Propaganda shouldn't so easily convince you of what you're now using to wreak havoc upon a large minority in the population. I'm not Rod Blagojevich, so I won't compare my plight to that of Gandhi or blacks around the turn of the century and before, but it feels like this is some what like what they went through. Their literal hangings being traded for our figurative crucifixion.